The 5 Styles Of Flirting, Explained By Our Relationship Expert
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Flirting comes as easily as breathing for some, but others need a bit of guidance when attempting to woo a love interest. Whichever boat you're in, understanding your flirting style — and the other flirting styles out there — can help you navigate both the dating pool and your committed, long-term relationship to keep the spark alive. Flirting is, at its core, simply a form of communication. By batting your eyelashes or offering charming gestures, you're letting a potential romantic partner know you're interested.
The five methods of flirting are physical, traditional, eye contact, polite, and sincere. Understanding these different flirting styles can give your romantic aspirations some extra fuel — and also help you identify when the flirtatious energy is coming your way. To learn more on the topic, we spoke exclusively to Jaime Bronstein, licensed relationship therapist and author of "MAN*ifesting: A Step-By-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That's Meant for You," for an expert take.
Physical flirting
Physical flirting is much what it sounds like. "This style uses body language and physical touch to express interest. People who physically flirt are generally confident, outgoing, and comfortable expressing attraction through physical interactions," Jaime Bronstein exclusively shared with Glam. A touch on the shoulder, leaning in close to your love interest, mirroring body language to show attraction, and choosing a close physical proximity to your crush all fall into the physical flirting category.
The key indicator of physical flirting is that it's non-verbal. And while touch is a key component of physical flirting, those who put energy into their physical appearance in order to attract others would also fall into this category. You may hit it off with someone who uses a physical flirting style if that's also your go-to, but you don't necessarily have to have the same flirting patterns to be compatible. "While compatibility in these areas is beneficial, it's essential to know that differences don't necessarily mean that a relationship will fail; after all, there's a reason why there's the popular term 'opposites attract!' A relationship can work as long as the couple is willing to listen and understand each other's differences," Bronstein told Glam.
Traditional flirting
Traditional flirting is characterized by the goal of finding a committed partner. This style of flirting centers around more traditional hetero-gender roles, generally in which the woman takes on a more passive stance and awaits the man of her interest to approach her. Traditional flirting can move at a slower pace and at times it may be tricky for a potential love interest to interpret the subtleties of the flirtation as romantic interest. "In this style, more conventional roles are played out in courtship. Men often take a more active role in pursuing, while women typically play a more passive role. This style values polite manners and non-verbal cues," Jaime Bronstein exclusively told Glam.
It might be beneficial for someone with a traditional flirting style to incorporate aspects of another style in order to communicate their interest clearly — particularly if the potential partner employs a more direct flirtation. "Flirting styles can overlap and vary widely over time and between people. Most people will use different styles in different situations and with other people," Bronstein shared.
Eye contact flirting
Another subtle, indirect form of flirting is to use your eyes. There's something inherently personal about making eye contact with someone and if you're just testing the waters of attraction with a potential interest, then making some prolonged doe-eyed contact is a great place to start. "Eye contact flirting is a way to show someone you're interested in them non-verbally. Winks are often used as well. Holding eye contact with someone can be pretty intimate, and if it's reciprocated, it gives both people the confidence that there is a mutual interest," Jaime Bronstein exclusively shared with Glam.
You may also catch someone looking at you from across the room or notice their eyes are still on you when you're engaged in another activity. If you're making an effort to catch someone's eye and you notice them turning away, take that as a sign. It's wise to accept that signal as a pass — or perhaps try a different flirting style that might be more suitable to the individual. "If you get positive reinforcement, and the person you're flirting with is playful, you should continue to flirt. However, if your flirting is not received well, you might want to change your style. If the person you're flirting with does not flirt back, that's an indication they might not be interested and move on to someone else who will reciprocate your flirting, someone who will be a better match for you," Bronstein told Glam.
Polite flirting
Similar in many regards to traditional flirting, polite flirting is another subtle, respectful approach to letting someone know you're interested in them. People with a polite flirting style may be more reserved and introverted. They may also approach potential love interests with a fair amount of hesitancy — out of respect or to avoid rejection and not feel too self-conscious. "Characterized by a cautious and respectful approach, this style avoids forward or sexual body language. Polite flirts value proper manners and non-sexual communication," Jaime Bronstein exclusively told us.
Often centered around moral behavior, this style of flirting is ideal for anyone looking to take things slowly. "They may take longer to develop a connection due to their conservative and thoughtful approach. This style is more traditional and reminiscent of how things were in past generations," Bronstein said. Whether it's your natural disposition or you've just ended a long-term relationship, polite flirting may be the way to go if you're not ready to jump right into anything.
Sincere flirting
The sincere style of flirting might be described as romance with depth — the emotions are largely at play and intimate conversation is the pillar of the connection. When encountering someone with this flirtation style, they might ask you a lot of questions about yourself and be eager to listen. Sincere flirting is what we might see in movies with love at first-sight tropes and will likely produce that swept-away feeling with the right person. "The sincere flirter focuses on creating an emotional connection and showing genuine interest in the other person. They will often have deep, meaningful conversations and express a desire to get to know someone on a personal level," Jaime Bronstein exclusively shared with Glam.
It's key to note that love birds don't always have to have the same flirtation style. And alternatively, having the same flirting patterns doesn't necessarily guarantee compatibility. A lot of factors are at play when it comes to the success of a relationship. "Each relationship is unique, and compatibility isn't just about what's on paper. It often involves many factors like experiences, personality traits, and upbringing. If you want a real connected relationship, it's important to look at all of the factors that make up a successful and healthy relationship," Bronstein told Glam.