'Astronaut Time': TikTok's Latest Relationship Hack For Better Quality Time
Pretending that your partner doesn't exist isn't the best-sounding relationship advice, but that's what TikTok's latest love hack is all about — and once you understand the "why" behind it, it makes a lot of sense. If you're in a long-term relationship and live with your significant other, chances are, you do a lot together. Maybe you both work from home, or maybe you share the same hobbies. You basically become one after a while, finishing each other's sentences and all.
While there's certainly a romantic air to this enmeshment, solo time and personal identity are also incredibly important in relationships. However, that can be hard to come by in close quarters, which is what led TikTok user @metlxiang to share a concept called astronaut time. Essentially, astronaut time is when partners go about their tasks without talking to or engaging with each other.
"When it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks," @metlxiang wrote in the video. The post has been generally met with enthusiastic comments from TikTok users, with one writing, "Me and my bf do something similar, its been a huge help. Living together in a tiny space can be super hard, so we need that separation sometimes." Another added, "This is so healthy sometimes we just need to be alone uninterrupted." If you feel like this is something that could help your relationship, here's how to bring up astronaut time to your partner and reap its positive benefits.
Approach the concept with kindness and respect
While the idea of solo-together time may sound like a dream to you, it might be tricky to gauge how your significant other will respond to the notion. If you're considering introducing the habit and addressing your need for alone time with your partner, it's key to bring it up tenderly and with care so as not to hurt or offend them. Start your conversation by reinforcing how much you value the time you spend together in the home. Then, approach the concept of having side-by-side silent time.
You can set your own parameters when it comes to your version of astronaut time. Perhaps, after establishing that you'll be engaging in astronaut time, the two of you put on your headphones to signify the session has started — and to serve as a reminder if you begin to ask your partner a question or start a conversation. Maybe you'll hang out in separate parts of the house, or maybe you'll hang next to one another, while one of you reads on a Kindle and the other plays video games. Whatever astronaut time looks like for you, it's key to remember the respect aspect of the practice, including refraining from interrupting your partner — emergencies excluded, of course — and not slipping into hurt feelings territory.
Reconnect after astronaut time to secure your bond
Once your solo time has commenced, you'll likely be eager and ready to return to your partner, and you'll do so with a refreshed and revitalized energy. This is because you've had a little bit of time to miss them, and you have something new to talk about (i.e. what you accomplished during your alone time). What's more, planning a fun activity together or opting for a cozy movie night with your favorite takeout are great ways to reconnect after astronaut time. Simple gestures or bids for connection, like a long hug or asking about one another's solo time, are also important to reestablish your bond. If one partner is anxiously attached, they may ask for additional reassurance after time spent apart (via Simply Psychology).
Some couples may need more alone time in their relationship than others, but healthy communication regarding our needs as individuals and granting one another a peaceful cocoon for alone time is what this relationship hack is all about. "I love love love unique solutions for comfort in relationships. This is the kind of compromise that makes love," one TikTok user commented on @metlxiang's post. Now, it could be your next perfectly tailored relationship solution, offering you both personal time and the chance to connect to your partner in new ways.