Can Switching Sides Of The Bed Benefit Your Relationship? We Asked A Human Behavior Expert
Maybe you never had a clear conversation about which side of the bed would become whose upon living together, and it inevitably led to some rather intense attachment. After all, we're creatures of habit, and countless people consistently sleep on "their" side of the bed night after night. Some might prefer the side nearest the door, window, or an outlet to charge their phone. Or there could be completely groundless and silly reasoning behind the desire to sleep on the right or left side of the mattress. But is this habit healthy for relationships, and could switching sides of the bed offer any benefits to you and your significant other?
We spoke to Patrick Wanis, Ph.D., a human behavior and relationship expert and the creator of SRTT Therapy, to learn more. "The way that you choose to sleep can reveal a lot about you, your personality, and your relationship," Dr. Wanis exclusively told Glam. "For example, do you choose which side of the bed to sleep on or does your partner tell you which side of the bed you will sleep on?" It may seem like an insignificant detail, but where and how we sleep really can impact our relationship. After all, sleep care is self-care.
The benefits of switching sides of the bed
Relationships can become stagnant, so shaking things up is key, even if that simply means moving your Kindle and lip balm to the other side of the bed. "Although children don't want it, they need stability, security, and routine for their healthy development and growth. Adults, on the other hand, often don't want it, but they need to break patterns of routine in the relationship to avoid boredom and to avoid taking the relationship and partner for granted," Dr. Patrick Wanis exclusively told Glam.
You may find that making small adjustments like swapping sides of the bed or rotating who drives on date night might open the door to the possibility of broader change. We can become overly comfortable with what's familiar and forget that there's always a new landscape to explore with a partner when reigniting the spark in a long-term relationship. "Even if you choose to do this exercise as a social experiment, consider changing the position that you sleep in every three months, and notice the way that changes the relationship dynamic between you and your partner," Wanis exclusively shared with Glam.
But just what should you consider? "What emotions does it stir up in you?" Dr. Wanis posited. "For example, do you feel more affectionate or less affectionate? Do you feel closer or more distant?" It's certainly worth some thought.
The significance behind which side of the bed you choose
While right or left may seem arbitrary, there's often a deeper meaning behind our choice to sleep on one side of the bed, according to Dr. Patrick Wanis. Beyond simple preference, where we sleep can reveal much about our personality, beliefs, and core nature. "Unless there is a medical reason for sleeping on your right side or left side, such as back pain, hip pain, or digestive issues, the choice to sleep on one particular side of the bed can also reflect the desire to control or can reflect a person who is very fixed in their ways," Dr. Wanis exclusively told Glam.
Because of this, your sleeping arrangement is worth examining. You may be surprised to find that the meaning behind which side you choose aligns with some of your personality traits. "If you like to sleep in the middle of the bed and you take up a lot of space when sleeping, then you most likely are someone who seeks a lot of freedom and a lot of independence," Dr. Wanis explained. The sides are a little different, though, with Dr. Wanis adding, "If you like to sleep on the right side of the bed, then you most likely seek to be the boss and to be in control."
So, once you've identified why you sleep where you do, ask yourself why you might need to switch things up. If you're attached to your routine, this may feel unnerving. After all, why change a good thing? But it might be what you need.